Be Kind

The Fit Bikini Model Extravaganza, FBME, is the upcoming health and fitness competition leader in Australia. Register for your FBME heat today and refer your friends to register for rewards. The Fit Bikini Model Extravaganza competition has all your bikini, fitness and sporting comp needs covered across Australia. Join us for the best health and fitness comp today.

BE KIND

Being kind is a vital way of bringing meaning to our own lives as well as the lives of others. Being kind allows us to communicate better, be more compassionate, and also to be a positive force in people's lives. Kindness has its true source deep within you, and while some people are innately kind, it's something that everyone can cultivate by choice.

Developing kinder traits:

Care for others genuinely. At its most raw form, kindness is about caring genuinely for others around you, wanting the best for them, and recognizing in them the same wants, needs, aspirations, and even fears that you have too. Kindness is warm, resilient, patient, trusting, loyal, and grateful. Kindness frees us from getting knotted up in negative attitudes and feelings such as resentment, jealousy, suspicion, and manipulation. Ultimately, kindness is deep caring for all beings.

  • Practice kindness and generosity toward others. Being out of practice, being shy, or not knowing how to reach out to others can only be overcome in the doing, by continually trying until it becomes a natural impulse to be kind and giving to others.
  • Ask for nothing in return. The greatest kindness expects nothing, comes with no strings attached, and places no conditions on anything done or said.

Don't be kind for the sake of getting what you want. Beware of deluded kindness. Kindness is not about self-interested politeness, calculated generosity, superficial etiquette. Simply being nice to other people because you believe that this will manipulate them into giving you what you want in life, or as a means of controlling them, is not kindness. Nor is kindness about pretending to care for someone all the while repressing anger or contempt. Hiding our rage or frustration behind false pleasantries is not kindness.

Be kind to yourself. Many people make the error of trying to be kind to others while at the same time not focusing on being kind to themselves. Some of this can stem from not liking aspects of yourself, but more often than not, it's sourced in the inability to know yourself better. And unfortunately, when you don't feel rock solid within yourself, your kindness to others risks falling into the deluded types of kindness described in the previous step. Or, it can lead to burn-out and disillusionment because you've put everyone else first.

  • Self-knowledge allows you to see what causes you pain and conflict, and enables you to embrace your contradictions and inconsistencies. It allows the space to work on things about yourself that you're not happy with. In turn, self-knowledge helps to prevent you from projecting your negative aspects onto other people, thereby empowering you to treat other people with love and kindness.
  • Take time to become more self-aware and use this learning to be kinder to both yourself (remembering that we all have weaknesses) and to others. In this way, your inner angst is being dealt with rather than fueling your need to project the hurt and pain.
  • Avoid viewing time taken to become more aware of your own needs and limits as an act of selfishness; far from it, it is a vital pre-condition to being able to reach out to other people with great strength and awareness.
  • Ask yourself what you think it means to be kinder to yourself. For many people, being kinder to themselves includes monitoring the chatter in your thoughts and stopping your negative thinking.

Learn kindness from others. Think about the truly kind people in your life and how they make you feel. Do you carry their warm glow around in your heart every time you think of them? It is likely that you do because kindness lingers, warming you even when the hardest challenges face you. When other people find a way to love you for who you are, it's impossible to forget such trust and confirmation of worthiness, and their kindness lives on forever.

  • Remember how other people's kindness makes your day and leaves you warm inside. What is it about their kindness that makes you feel special and cherished? Are there things that they do that you can replicate from your own heart?

Cultivate kindness for the good of your own health. Improved psychological health and happiness comes from thinking more positively and kindness is a positive mental state. While kindness is about giving and being open to others, giving kindness returns a sense of well-being and connection to us that improves our own mental state and health.

  • Although simple, the very ability to be kind is in itself a powerful and consistent reward, a self-esteem booster.

Make a habit of focusing on kindness. Leo Babauta says that kindness is a habit and is one that everyone can cultivate. He suggests focusing on kindness every day for a month. At the end of this directed focus, you'll be aware of profound changes in your life, you'll feel better about yourself as a person, and you'll find that people react to you differently, including treating you better. As he says, in the long run, being kind is karma in practice. Suggestions to help cultivate your kindness include:

  • Do one kind thing for someone every day. Make a conscious decision at the beginning of the day what that kind act will be and make time to do it during the day.
  • Be kind, friendly, and compassionate when you interact with someone, and even more so where that person normally makes you angry, stressed, or bothered. Use kindness as your strength.
  • Build up your small acts of kindness into larger acts of compassion.Volunteering for those in need and taking the initiative to relieve suffering are bigger acts of compassion.
  • Meditate to help spread kindness. 

Be kind to everyone, not just people "in need". Expand your circle of kindness. It can be very easy to be kind when we're unconsciously doing what Stephanie Dowrick termspatronizing kindness. This refers to kindness given to those people we feel are truly in need (the sick, the poor, the vulnerable, and those who align with our own ideals). Being kind to people close to us, emotionally (like family or friends) or in other ways (from the same country, of the same color, gender etc.), is also easier than being kind to those the philosopher Hegel called "the other". It can be more difficult to be kind to people we may consider our equals, but it will be worth it.

  • The trouble with restricting our kindness to "convenient" cases is that we fail to recognize that we need to be kind to everyone, no matter who they are, their level of wealth or fortune, their values and beliefs, their behavior and attitudes, their place of origin, their likeness to ourselves, etc.
  • By choosing to be kind only to those we feel are deserving of kindness, we are unleashing our own biases and judgment, and only practicing conditional kindness. Natural kindness encompasses all beings and while the challenges you'll face when trying to put this broader notion of kindness into practice will sometimes be trying, you'll never stop learning about the depths of your ability to be truly kind.
  • If you're neglecting being kind to someone else just because you think they can cope without your support or understanding, then you're practicing selective kindness.

Minimize judgment. If you really want to be kind, then you have to kick your judgment to the curb. Instead of spending your time being critical of other people, work on being positive and compassionate. If you tend to think poorly of others, wish other people could step up their game, or feel like the people around you are needy or clueless, then you'll never learn true kindness. Stop judging people and realize that you'll never fully understand where they're coming from unless you walk a day in their shoes. Focus on wanting to help others instead of judging them for not being better than they are.

  • If you're judgmental, prone to gossip, or just always bad-mouthing the people around you, you'll never be able to move past your reservations to be kind.
  • Being kind means giving people the benefit of the doubt instead of expecting perfection.

Kindness Qualities:

Be compassionate toward others

Don't expect perfection

Be present when you can and open to everyone who crosses your path

Be a good listener

Be optimistic and positive

Be friendly

Be grateful

Share with others

Smile often

Love and respect animals and the world

Take an interest in others

Make an effort with someone for no reason

Donate your unwanted items

Do a random act of kindness

Buy your FBME event tickets and be part of the audience at the best bikini, health and fitness modelling comp today. FBME is Australia's  best female only bikini, health and fitness modelling comp offering the best prizes and sponsorship opportunities.